I sit here at our dining room table watching the doves eat underneath the bird feeders as our six month old kitten, Seda, recovers from being spayed and watches them as well. It's a partly cloudy day, but the sun still breaks through. The snowcapped mountains stand in the distance and I note how our grass is a little greener. We are still waiting for it to come alive after being dormant all winter. The snow from the weekend has melted for the most part and I smell the wheat bread I just baked on the counter. It is the bread I promised to bake my husband and almost forgot. (Whoops.) The turtle tank beside me sounds like after calming water fountain and I count my blessings on this day.
I pause and pray, "Thank God."
The truth is I am starting to feel some stress. I shouldn't. But, I do. I am attending Write His Answer and the Colorado Christian Writers Conference in Estes Park, Colorado and it starts next week. The To-Do List keeps growing as I try to push off the disappointment I feel. For months, I have been planning on attending. For months, I tried, Lord, to figure out what to write. I hoped to have a book to present this year. However, I will not. This brings up mixed emotions and thoughts. Hence, I feel a little raw about it, Abba.
The idea of a book finally came to me on April 19, 2016, which sure didn't leave time to write a book. Needless to say, I started to wonder if I am wasting my time and our money. Have I failed again to be a good steward of our time and money, Lord? How many books have I tried to write, and how many genres, and nothing has stuck? Ugh. Yes. More disappointment wells up from within.
Late last week, though, You gave me the vision of what You see for me for my blogging, my writing, and the writing conference. Needless to say, I am quite thrilled. I am going to the conference to learn and to network. No stress here. Seriously. I can just sit back and listen to You and where You lead me, Father God, and what a joy it is to think.
So, why am I feeling a little stressed today, Lord? Is it my To-Do List? Or, am I putting too much pressure on myself to begin a new writing platform?
I just had to stop prayer journaling and just watch for a few minutes as the female dove walked about twenty-five feet from our birdfeeders in the middle of our yard to our birdbath which is on our patio. I saw her fly to the birdbath and watched her drink. She kept her eyes gazing inside our house and I couldn't see through the table to see if Seda had stopped bathing or if she saw the dove as well. I sat there frozen so I could just watch and pray for the pair that visits our yard each day, multiple times per day.
Lord, keep the doves safe, strong, healthy, and help them know their Creator. Give them good lives, Father.
Talk about a beautiful sight, Lord. Thank You.
My stomach growled and I just decided to go get a testing of the bread. My husband loves the heel, while I do not, so I cut that off first and as I do, I realize the loaf will be terrible. I grin. It fell apart as I cut. So, no. It isn't terrible at all. It's just as I thought. The piece I cut for myself fell apart even worse and I have what was a slice of bread, but is now about eight chunks of bread the total size of a slice. I shrug my shoulders and debate on butter or not and decide it doesn't need it after a sampling.
This is My body, comes to mind (
Luke 22:19).
It is wrong to say His body was broken for us. His body was not broken at all during the crucifixion. Not one bone was broken. His body was pierced, though.
But, the bread represents His body.
Of course, I cannot chew another bite in the same way as I ponder and pray this.
Lord, thank You for this bread and for Your body, which shows how You are real and really walked on this earth.
There is a slight breeze outside and I make a mental note to bake another loaf of bread next week for my husband so he can eat it while I am gone.
I realize part of the stress I feel about the conference is the wanting to have quite a bit written between now and then. Silly, really, since I and not going to present anything at the conference since I just started writing the blog posts, which I will turn into a book in the future.
I take a sip of the iced decaf green tea which sits in front of me. It makes me pause, think, and pray.
I just hung upside down in my chair to see Seda sitting there in the sun bathing herself again. I call out to her. She trills her call out to me, makes eye contact with me, and waits to see what I'm going to do. I and am again reminded of how, Lord, I should look at You... with anticipation.
Then, I hear a strange sound in the turtle tank and see how Harry is rearranging his tank again. He thinks he is an interior designer. I sigh and go fix the tank as I ask him what he is doing. I sit back down and glance at my To-Do List for tomorrow and I realize how I need to remember praying the Bible 24/7/365 is meant to happen in the midst of life, as we do this thing called life, God.
But, what is different in my case is how You have called me to pray the Bible 24/7/365 for the rest of my life as a full-time profession.
And, I cannot help but think of how I do what I call, pray the news, where I pray over every article that captures my eye from several news sources. This is what has me stressed more than anything, I think.
Usama Bin Laden was killed five years ago to today, and on May 02, 2011.
As I typed that last sentence one of the National Guard's C-130 planes just flew overhead and I can see them heading to their home, at the airport in town.
Yes. I realize how I am not stressed about the conference at all, or the list of things I need to do to get ready or pack between now and then. Rather, what has me stressed is terrorism. ISIS to be exact. No. Not stressed. Edgy. On edge. I am emotional about it. ISIS is still going strong and keeps torturing and killing more people. In fact, there were more attacks in the first quarter in Iraq and Syria than there have been since 2014. Hence, I am on edge because I am prayerful about this.
Lord Jesus Christ, please stop terrorism. Eliminate it altogether. Help people to stop falling for the lies about this side of Islam. Help every single Christian out there to pray for the stopping and total destruction of all terrorism and of ISIS.
Now that I have slowed down to analyze things, it is time to Pray the Bible.
There are four doves outside. I have never seen four out there before. I have seen one two, and three, but never four. Lady Seda is so wound up with twitching and flinging her tail that she is slamming it against the glass. I am surprised she hasn't scared them off. Lord, protect all of them, keep them healthy and content. Give them good and long lives, Lord.
Now, I want to pray through a verse.
PRAYING THE BIBLE AND 1 SAMUEL 12:23
Lord, I learned here how it is a sin against You to pray for others.
Not praying for others is a sin.
Help me, Father God, to remember and to live this verse.
How many times do I get so caught up with my latest challenge that I spend far more time praying to You about me than I pray about others?
Lore, help me learn how to pray for others. Give me the want and desire to do so. Moreover, tell me what to pray for others. Put it in my mind and on my heart.
This is a verse to commit to memory and do my best to not forget it and to help me to apply it in my life.
This verse shows how important it is to pray for others.
To You be the glory forever and ever.
